Funny Jokes To Tell Old People
Old people... They make the world into what it is today. Believe it or not you're even related to some of them. I have a list of things that you can say to them to lighten them up. I am sure that they can apprciate a good laugh in their lives.
What you need to talk to old people:
Things you should try saying....
If you want them to smile:
"I can't believe how beautiful you are, you look just like a supermodel (mumble the last bit)... if they turned into a prune"
If you want them to cry:
Force a sad yet vivid flashback...
"hey grandma (remember to wink at the old bag) I was wondering, remember that christmas during the war when grandpa went away and didn't come back... do you remember that?"
If you want them to laugh:
Tell them a joke...
"I got a great joke, what's the difference between you and scrambled eggs?.... I don't know either you both look like crap!"
If you want them to teach you history:
Ask them an evolutionary question...
"I've always wondered, what came first, the chicken or the egg? No really, you're the only one on earth who would even know that."
If you want them to be immortalized:
Tell them to do something most people can't do...
"Hey did you know if you walk 10 miles naked while handling deadly snakes and singing little Richie that'd be like pretty cool and stuff."
If you want to confuse them:
Try a pick up line...
"Hey baby, I've got a thing for soggy wet Tenas... on my floor!."
If you want sex:
If you really do this you're one sick pathetic bastard...
"I haven't had sex in years and I bet it's been decades for you, what the hell I'm feeling pretty desperate right now..."